Blackfly

Corporal Entwhistle's twin brother, Lord Entwhistle, is coming to the fort. In a mad scramble to impress him, Entwhistle proposes marriage to both Misty Moon and Lady Hammond, only to have his heart broken twice. Blackfly is also out to win Lady Hammond's favour, but even his temporary position as the acting Chief Factor is not enough to turn her head. Lord Entwhistle arrives in a pine box and Corporal Entwhistle is suddenly landed gentry.

As the men of the fort grow desperate for female companionship, a woman arrives to answer their prayers. Her name is Bettina, Sister Bettina, aka Bad Betty. A card shark, she takes her thieving ways through the wilderness dressed up as a nun. Blackfly is tempted by forbidden love. In the end, Bad Betty takes off with MacTavish's strong box, but not without a fond farewell for Blackfly.

Colonel Boyle is still traumatized over his humiliating defeat at The Battle Of The Big Green Hill by The Little Green Hill. The only solution is to rewrite history by re-enacting the critical moment. Blackfly is in a panic. Will Colonel Boyle finally recognize him as the Little Drummer Man who was responsible for the Colonel's darkest hour?

Another typical day at Fort Simpson-Eaton...the residents eagerly await for their goods to be brought by the French voyageurs, Entwhistle craves the action of a good battle, and Blackfly decides that he is due for a raise after all his time and hard work. As with most entrepreneurs, MacTavish experiences the pressures of supply and demand and turns Blackfly down – but our hero has his own idea of supply and demand!

A smooth talking huckster from the land of opportunity sets up shop at the fort. How can MacTavish compete with that all-American know-how? Lady Hammond shops until she drops and Blackfly has to bend his gender to save her virtue. Colonel Boyle develops a strange fondness for lilac scented foot powder.

Blackfly and Corporal Entwhistle venture into the woods to rescue Lady Hammond, the high-society daughter of Colonel Boyle. She was "misplaced" during her voyage to the new colony by French voyageur Ti-Jean. When she is finally found and brought to the fort, the men of the post are smitten and compete for her attention.

When the chips are down, who would you turn to, a pretentious poet with the gift for gab, or The Lord Of The Laundry? A wilderness poet arrives at the fort and Lady Hammond swoons and faints into his arms upon his recitations, only to have her heart wrung out like a dishrag when he takes off. Now that Blackfly realizes the power of words, he gives poetry a go. Lady Hammond faints at his literary efforts, but this time it's because her gown is too tight. Blackfly shrunk it when he was doing her laundry.

There are two things to do at the fort at night – sleep and drink. Lady Hammond seizes on the notion of exercise and temperance after a night of one-too-many. She uses her charms to cajole the men to take the sobriety pledge and Misty Moon's bar falls empty. But the men have to drink something, so MacTavish and Blackfly turn the trading post into a coffee house. Only Lady Hammond doesn't seem to be suffering through this dry spell. Could it be the ingredients in the special blend of "coffee" that she's been drinking?

Lady Hammond is the self-assigned New World correspondent for the London Social Gazette. Blackfly, MacTavish, Colonel Boyle and even Misty Moon are falling over themselves trying to get their name in ink. MacTavish's bid for fame and fortune is the staging of the First Annual MacTavish Open Golf Classic – extreme golf played in the deep woods. And the winner is the surprise last minute entry – Chief Smack-Your-Face-In.

The fort is infested by mosquitoes and the residents are willing to try anything to avoid the pests – even MacTavish's "special" repellant. Luckily for the fort, Misty Moon has a recipe for relief, which sends Blackfly on a mission for the main ingredient – albino beaver juice!

There is a new dilemma at the fort… there is only one outhouse for all the inhabitants! As Blackfly and Entwhistle dig up more holes for the latrines, they find something that sends them both into a greedy frenzy!

A shortage of tobacco at the fort causes panic. When the voyageurs show up empty-handed, Blackfly and Entwhistle promise to find tobacco for Lady Hammond, who has become seriously addicted. The two men are desperately competing for her attention and travel to the dark side of the American Dream to get it!

Beaver is the most sought-after animal in the land, and Blackfly plans to start a beaver farm with Corporal Entwhistle. All seems well when they manage to capture two beaver belonging to the Ojibway nations. When the natives find them missing, they threaten to burn down the fort, but Blackfly and Entwhistle save the day with some quick animal impressions.

MacTavish mocks Blackfly's poetry but quickly discovers that Lady Hammond longs for a man with a poetic soul. In a fit of pique she dumps the pragmatic MacTavish and announces she'll marry Blackfly. Let the wedding plans begin!

Blackfly is awestruck when the great Ben Franklin turns up at the fort. Franklin is charming and even though Boyle has him arrested he mesmerizes everyone at the fort. Blackfly laughs when the Jesuit tells him Franklin practices the dark arts…that is, until he joins him for dinner.

The Earl of Pickersaill, a personal favourite of King George, arrives at the fort determined to shoot buffalo. Ignoring the fact that buffalo live two thousand miles west, Boyle sends Blackfly and the Chief hunting with him. The Earl dies after a nasty run in with a moose and Blackfly has to find a way to avoid taking the blame.

Blackfly is smitten when Lauren, an old flame, arrives at the fort accompanied by her accident-prone son and a charismatic French priest. Blackfly soon falls under Lauren's spell again and even after he discovers she's lied to him about everything he can't resist doing whatever she asks.

The Company's Chief Factor comes to the fort and MacTavish and Blackfly vie for a promotion. But the Chief Factor has a roving eye and when it lands on Lady Hammond Blackfly and MacTavish are out of luck when hoping to woo Lady Hammond he makes her the boss.

The fort is buzzing with excitement over the upcoming lacrosse playoffs between the fort favourites, the Ojibway Eagles, captained by the Chief and the Huron Hornets. Blackfly fancies himself an expert on the game and is miffed when the Chief ignores his advice. When Blackfly inadvertently destroys most of the Hornets team, he and others at the fort take their places. Finally Blackfly will get the chance to show the Chief what a great player he is!

Every spring the fur trappers make their way to the fort determined to drink and gamble themselves into oblivion. Lady Hammond begs Blackfly to stop Colonel Boyle from gambling with them. Blackfly does as she asks but it's Lady Hammond herself that succumbs to the "Boyle Curse". To save Lady Hammond, now deep in debt to the trappers, Blackfly calls on an old acquaintance, Stateside Bobby, an unsavory gambler. Stateside fleeces the trappers and frees Lady Hammond but what he wants in return may be too much to pay.

The truth is revealed in this documentary-style episode when the real facts come to light about an explosive incident in the history of Fort Simpson-Eaton... the night a company of American soldiers paid a less than friendly visit!

The inhabitants of the fort must put on a good show during the important annual treaty negotiations with the natives. Good food and entertainment are essential. When Blackfly finds that Misty Moon won't be available to do the cooking he turns to Lady Hammond, unfortunately Lady Hammond’s enthusiasm far outweighs her culinary skills. When Blackfly decides she should make a recipe they find in Misty Moon's old cookbook they have no idea they're dishing up a magical brew.

The French and English decide once and for all to settle the question of who is superior by competing in a series of tasks. The final competition is log rolling but Blackfly, once a member of the famous 'Shoutin' Broughton' log rolling family has lost his nerve. Can Lady Hammond help him overcome his fears and save the English from humiliation?

The commanders of several forts in the region have been murdered and Boyle fears for his life. In a comedy of errors Boyle thinks that a medicinal recipe Blackfly gave Dijon to cure a boil is actually a death threat. Dijon is arrested and while attempting to set things straight Blackfly manages to free Dijon, but finds himself sentenced to hang instead.

When Dijon discovers Entwhistle's wig and boots abandoned in the wilderness everyone but Blackfly believes he's dead. He and Dijon set out to look for Entwhistle and finally discover him alive and well in a native village. They want to take him back to the fort but now he'll only answer to the name Chief Pale Legs and he's more native than the natives! Dijon and Blackfly are flogged and taken prisoner for making fun of him. They manage to escape and return to the fort only to find it's been taken over by the Americans!

Winter is closing in and Dijon won't be back until spring. Blackfly wants to do something nice for him and Lady Hammond suggests a surprise party; they're all the rage in London! Blackfly takes Dijon for a walk in the woods while the others prepare. They soon get lost but the Chief rescues them and takes them to his hut, deep in the woods. Tempers fray and cabin fever takes over when they’re storm-stayed and miss the party.