Tales from the Darkside

Cassie Pines is a woman travelling on her own who believes in astrology, tea leaves...everything. She comes into a diner with a most unusual mechanical fortune teller named Horace X. "Horace" is uncanny with his predictions but Cassie soon finds that Horace is demanding and possessive - despite her misgivings she enters the booth one more time...and disappears.

Given one last wish to enliven her days before she is moved into the Tranquil Gardens retirement home, elderly Grandma sees to it that her self-centered family finds out what it's like to grow old.

Mr. Bigalow, a lifelong cigarette smoker, wakes up to find that his windows have bars on them and his door is sealed shut. A mysterious figure appears on Bigalow's television, informing him that he will quit smoking. Bigalow scoffs at this notion and reaches for a morning cigarette. As soon as he lights up, a deafening alarm sounds, demanding that he extinguish the cigarette immediately. Bigalow is subjected to various endurance tests and is further tempted to smoke when thousands of cigarettes materialize in the room, only to disappear. After being driven to the edge of sanity, he wakes up to find that he no longer has a desire to smoke. Believing that the whole ordeal was a dream, Bigalow reaches for a cup of coffee, at which time the mysterious figure reappears on the television screen, insisting that Bigalow now work on his caffeine addiction.

Henry, a greedy developers, stumbles upon a Chinese laundry that offers a unique service - it can "wash out" guilt. Henry employs their services but soon finds there is a unpleasant price to pay.

A teenager enraptured with magicians goes to a flee-bitten circus to seek out one of the greater: Kharma. However, Kharma now does cheap magic for the crowds, and none of the great illusions the teenager believes him capable of. When Kharma refuses to do them, the kid heckles him until Kharma relents and uses the boy as a subject for his greatest feat of levitation. However, Kharma dies of a heart attack, and the boy simply keeps on levitating...up into the sky and out of sight.

Fast-talking politician Bo Gumbs finds himself in serious trouble when he arrives for a meeting and waits at a nearby hotel.

Cathy Osborne brings her husband up to a previously-unknown room in their house and along with her friend Michael, relates the tale of how the room is the "madness room" from which no one has ever stayed the night...and survived. In reality it's a set up and Cathy and Michael plan to kill Cathy's husband by scaring him to death. They succeed by faking some supernatural activities, but soon find that the curse of the room is all too real...

Prudence is a young woman who can't stop crying, but finds a peculiar way to make a profit when she meets Ambrose Cavender, a man who collects tears.

Joan is apartment-sitting for a friend but finds herself tormented by a phone that won't stop ringing.

A warlock and a witch get into a battle over a $10 million lottery ticket when each claims that the spirits gave them the winning number.

A young girl fleeing her boyfriend finds herself in a small country home with a genial older couple. They take pity on her and invite her in, and even invite her to their special anniversary dinner. After getting her set up in the hot tub with plenty of wine, they start pouring vegetables in. As she passes out, the girl realizes exactly how the couple will be having her for dinner.

A fake fortuneteller, Caterina, soon finds that every fortune she tells comes true...but she can only predict gruesome and horrific ends for her customers. She soon discovers that another cursed fortuneteller slipped her a cursed pack of cards, and Caterina can only get rid of them by giving them to another fake. She does so by slipping into another fortuneteller's parlor, asking for a fortune, and slipping her the cursed deck. Unfortunately the first fortune the new cursee reads is of Caterina's death...which rapidly comes true.

Leon, a hapless TV writer, buys an answering machine that has a mind of its own - it initially helps him out by providing him with new material, but Leon soon finds that it's taking over his life.

A couple inadvertently buy a magic lamp that contains a genie. Unfortunately, the genie is anything but amiably. Confined in the lamp for thousands of years and still trapped, he refuses to grant wishes and instead terrorizes the couples with plagues, rains of frogs, etc. The husband finally has himself committed, but a few days later his wife brings him home. Their apartment is now richly decorated and they have plenty of money. The genie is now an amiable and willing wish-granter. The wife's solution to freeing the genie: a can opener.

In the backwoods, a family patriarch dies...only to come back, unaware that he's dead. The townspeople are up in arms, but the old man is too stubborn to admit he's dead, despite his rigor mortis, lack of appetite, and bad smell. His grandson Jody eventually goes to an old voodoo woman for a solution. Rather than magic, she provides him with a simple solution: pepper. Jody puts it in his grandpa's handkerchief. When the old man sneezes, his nose falls off, which finally convinces him to go lie down and give up life for good.

Richard Hagstrom is dismayed with the way life has treated him (a rude son, a shrewish wife). His nephew Jonathan gives him a birthday present: a homemade word processor. Hagstrom soon discovers that anything he types into the processor becomes real, and no one but him knows the difference. He begins with simple experiments, but then wipes out his son from existence. Even his wife is unaware of the changes. As the machine overheats into self-destruction, Hagstrom types in one last story: he makes sure that he and Jonathan's mother married and that Jonathan was his son. As the word processor destroys itself, Hagstrom's final wish becomes reality.

A student takes a room with an abrupt, somewhat rude anthropology professor. He instructs her never to open the small door in the back of her closet. Hearing strange noises, she eventually opens the door and finds the chamber beyond occupied by a small, hairless-monkey sort of a creature. It kills her and goes after the professor...only to reveal that it is his deformed daughter, which he lovingly dotes on.

A young ad-design artist begins to literally "slip" out of reality. Slowly but surely he seems to be fading out of existence: first his payroll checks disappear, then his high school not only fails to mail him about their reunion, but has no records of his existence. The artist soon realizes that since he's drifted through life, he's basically "slipping through the cracks". Even his mother has no memory of him. At the end, even his wife and best friend (now the woman's husband in this new reality) forget he ever existed.

Twin siblings, Mookie and Pookie, are extremely close. But Mookie has a terminal illness. Later the scientific genius Mookie succesfully downloads his mind into the computer before he dies. But now that he's in there Pookie must convince her parents not to pull the plug.

Tommy Vale, a barroom bookie finds himself in a curious predicament: a man comes in who can't lose. As the story unravels, he finds out that his opponent is Lacey, a man who went broke gambling with Vale in the past. Now Lacey is back from the dead, with tips from the other side, and is unbeatable. In a final ghoulish wager, Lacey bets that Vale will die at a particular time, and he's never been wrong. But the clock chimes and Vale is still alive. Lacey is forced to depart, and Vale reveals that he set the clock ahead five minutes, then dies right on time.

Harvey goes to Dr. Roebuck with back pains and Roebuck prescribes a miraculous cure. It's not until later that Harvey finds the price he must pay...

Two old, rich men like to wager among themselves on trivial matters for huge amounts. One of them, Williams, offers his friend a million dollars for his immortal soul. Blaine accepts but discovers that he is dying of cancer - frightened, he tries to buy his soul back. Williams holds out for more money, until it's too late - Blaine dies. Soulless, he comes back for his soul, shocking Williams into a heart attack...and the Devil comes to claim his due from both of them.

A recovering alcoholic is disturbed to find a young boy who shows up at his office claiming to be his son Jerry. The man is further angered when the boy shows up at his house. While the other family members carry on as if Jerry is a regular member of the family, the man insists that he has never seen the boy before in his life. The man's wife assumes that he has begun drinking again and is harboring delusions brought on by his inebriated state. The family, disgusted by the father's unwillingness to acknowledge Jerry as his son, ultimately leaves him. Driven back to drinking by the ordeal, the previously sober father ends up in a state of emotional ruin. In the final scene, Jerry visits another man, claiming to be HIS son, as the nightmarish pattern continues.

A family finds themselves cursed because of their great grandfather killing his wife, and the curse won't die until they all die too and there is no one else to carry on his name.

A hapless yokel, Arnold, runs into an Army recruiting office and asks for help, claiming to float. It turns out that he's telling the truth, but then Mr. Cooper and his pregnant daughter (pregnant by Arnold) show up and demand he do the right thing - it turns out that the more Arnold lies, the more he floats.

The family of a dead preacher show up for a reading of the will but discovers he left them nothing specific. Rather, he warns them on his video-taped will that he will send them a sign.

Dr. Carrol visits the Alcotts and discovers that they are vampire and that wife Marie wants an escape.

A mob boss suffering from a terminal illness is visited by an odd man who claims that he has the ability to offer the dying a choice of dreams after death. The mob boss is skeptical at first and threatens to kill the man for insulting his intelligence. After some contemplation, he accepts the man's offer and subjects to his medical experimentations. At first, the boss experiences nothing but pleasant memories. However, after a few days, memories of the people he has destroyed through his evil and ruthless lifestyle begin to creep into his dreams. The mob boss reports these dreams to the man and demands that these images not recur after he dies. The man assures the mob boss that the disturbing memories are only a momentary side effect that will subside after further medical alterations. As the mob boss subjects himself to the final operation which will complete the procedure, the horrible memories become permanent, completely taking the place of the pleasant ones. Inside the mob boss's

Stacey is on her way home from college and rides the last car on a train. She is soon perplexed by the bizarre behavior of her fellow passengers, including a woman who knows her name despite the fact they've never met. Stacey soon discovers that she, and everyone else, are dead and on a one-way trip from which there is no escape.

Salesman Chester checks into a motel and makes an off-hand pass at a woman. She rejects him, but soon another, jealous woman shows up to haunt him.

A young woman, Christine, returns home to find her mother cold and distant, and living isolated from everyone else. The woman soon discovers that her mother has summoned up...Chrissie - Christine as a young girl, before she moved away and gained a life of her own. Christine soon finds there is no way she can compete with her mother's idealized image of herself.

Junior Harman is a third-rate writer who discovers that his new agent, Mr. Kellaway, can make things happen for him. All it requires is a little blood - a few animals, the occasional bum... Junior is reluctant to go along but he soon finds he has no choice in the matter.

A man is overjoyed to find a nice apartment with all the modern conveniences at an incredibly cheap price. The eccentric landlady asks nothing more than for the man to provide her with plenty of garbage for the disposal unit. The man is puzzled when the walls ooze blood after he attempts to hang a picture with a nail and hammer. He is further disturbed when the floor shakes as he hears an ominous roar bellow throughout the building complex. He soon realizes that the building itself is a living entity that survives on the trash created by the tenants. Angered by the situation, the man fills a garbage bag full of household cleaners with the intent of poisoning the entity. He throws the bag into the disposal unit and the creature begins to roar. Suddenly, the landlady confronts the man with her two sons and they throw the man into the disposal, providing the beast with a full course meal.

A group of people find themselves trapped in a scenario with Otto, only to discover that he is a stagehand and they are a theater group all trapped in his dream.

Englebert Ames, an astronomer, is watching Hailey's Comet and is in for a shock when Sir Edmond Hailey himself arrives - he's been riding "his" comet all these years trying to elude Sarah, the woman pursuing him out of obsessed love.

A little boy, Timmy, tries to convince his skeptical parents that there is a horrible monster beneath his bed - they learn too late that he is telling the truth.

Kate wakes up and discovers that for unknown reasons, her life is now running backwards.

When Joan finds a new teddy bear in her son's room no one seems to know where it came from. Then night after night huge claw marks are found on the walls and the sounds of something very large can be heard moving through the house. It seems that this little bear has a murderous life all its own...

Two occultists are offered $50,000 if they can rid a girl of the multiple demons possessing her, but they soon find themselves in over their heads.

A famous director is surprised when he is approached by a mysterious investor who wants him to finish up a "Fugitive"-like series that he had done twenty years ago that was cancelled before the final episodes were shown. "Mr. Smith" wants the director to put together the old cast and finish it out, for his "foreign viewers". The star, Van Conway, is a drunk but Mr. Smith mysteriously manages to sober him up. They finish up the series, where the viewers find out that the amnesiac lead character was being hunted by his jealous brother. Mr. Smith, satisfied at the symmetry, departs. It's left to Conway to explain what he believes is the truth: Smith is from a planet twenty light-years away. The aliens, which were part of a dual-planet system, became enraptured by the show and so sent their emissary to Earth to finish it so they could see the conclusion.

A hate-style radio host, Mandrake, spews out venom at anyone who calls in. He soon discovers, however, after receiving calls across all of time that he is dead but that the "Boss," has kept him on since he discourages souls and make them more prone to the "Boss'" influence. Mandrake is unable to leave his broadcast booth and finds himself transforming into a demon as he has to continue broadcasting forever, and ever.

Pete Bancroft is a talented pianist who has lost his inspiration, but is contacted by a mysterious inventor who gives him a piano that lets him play as never before simply by thinking of the music. Bancroft is at first relieved, but soon discovers that the piano must feed on the soul of the woman he loves to retain its powers.

A mean old man harboring an intense hatred for the celebration of Halloween is left alone by his son to hand out candy to the neighborhood children. The old man initially ignores the trick-or-treaters, but later cruelly fills their bags with a mixture of syrup and cleaning fluid. Satisfied, the old man retreats to his armchair to watch television, when a goblin-like creature pays him a visit. The creature relentlessly asks the old man for candy and he eventually shuts himself inside the house to avoid it. He suddenly realizes that he is unable to make phone calls as the goblin continues to stalk him from outside the house. Finally deciding to confront the creature, the old man walks out to the porch, only to discover that the goblin has vanished. He goes back into the house and looks out the window one last time. As he closes the curtain, he is confronted face-to-face by the creature inside the house, who again asks him for candy. Shocked and frightened, he falls to the floor and passe

A woman becomes concerned when she discovers that a man that she and her husband rent a room to has been practicing voodoo. Although the man is good intentioned and kind, the woman regards him as a threatening and undesirable tenant. The husband sees the man as a well meaning and harmless, albeit strange individual, a view that is contradictory to his wife's feelings. She decides to hatch a plot to expel the man from her building. When the child that she has been pregnant with miscarries and her cat turns up dead, she blames the incidents on the black magic of the tenant. Guilt-ridden, the tenant hangs himself in his room. When the husband confronts the wife about the incident, the truth soon reveals itself. It was the wife that caused the miscarriage and killed the couple's cat. Disgusted by her malicious actions, the husband leaves her. Later that night, while in bed, the woman is woken by the sound of horrific groans coming up the stairs to her room....

As Billy is waiting to be executed in the electric chair, he relates the bizarre tale of how he came to be in his predicament at the hands of an attractive woman.

Ben Martin, a rich businessman, is contacted by a special medical firm, "Lifebomb" which offers him an expensive policy that will let him live forever. They give him an implanted device which, every time he "dies," activates and places him in a cocoon until the corporation can arrive and revive him. His wife soon leaves him and since Ben is close to death, the Lifebomb goes off constantly. Tired of life, he finds that he is trapped since Lifebomb refuses to call off the policy so that they can make money off of him.

An impressionist, "Mr. Personalities," is brought in by the government to try to help them communicate with an alien. Mr. Personalities is at first stumped but finally makes "contact." The alien departs and Mr. Personalities is depressed...until the alien returns for him.

Irene and Jim discover that a new radio they buy lets them overhear the neighbors, but Irene soon turns paranoid as she wonders whether they can hear her.

When Harry Carson has a heart attack, an angel and a devil fight for who will get his soul and it's up to Harry to make the right choice.

Anna Belle's plot to murder her husband to gain his money backfires with unpleasant results.

A shoemaker's apprentice discovers a strange power when he finds he can step into other peoples' lives simply by putting on their shoes.

Two long-lived witches, Elizabeth and Mary, vie once more over an amulet in the modern day that they agreed to share hundreds of years ago.

Robert, a lonely divorced man, fixated on a mannequin, but the question soon becomes - is the mannequin alive?

A crooked tycoon makes a deal with the Devil in return for power and wealth.

Laura, a desperate woman, tries to get an apartment by herself but is forced to take in Ram, an immigrant from Calcutta. When Ram dies partly due to her involvement, Laura finds that she has inherited an entire family of ghostly Hindus.

Hack writer Peter, writing worse and worse vampire stories, buys a coffin for inspiration and finds it occupied by Count Draco. Peter manages to protect himself, and the two strike a deal: Draco will supply new inspiration based on his life experiences, and Peter will write the books. Peter becomes wealthy, but refuses to share the proceeds. With the aid of Peter's secretary, Draco manages to get the drop on the writer and kill him, and the vampire and secretary strike up a new arrangement.

A man, Garry, hears from his neighbor a bizarre tale of how the unseen neighborhood milkman grants wishes to anyone who leaves their request in the empty bottles to be picked up. Garry tries it for himself and soon finds his every wish granted. His final wish is for a daughter, and his curiosity is too great and he tries to confront the milkman. Garry gets a glimpse of a deformed mutant creature before it disappears and then realizes exactly how the "milkman" will fulfill his wish - by impregnating his wife.

A robber accidentally brings a mannequin to life - its gaze turns him into a statue. The now-living mannequin flees into the night, unaware of her powers or the harm she can bring.

On Christmas Eve, a couple decide to preoccupy their restless children by telling them a fable concerning a massive, winged creature called "The Grither". The children initially balk at the story, which describes the creature as a proud, hateful beast who becomes enraged when it hears its name being spoken aloud. Although it lives at the North Pole, its humongous ears allow it to hear its name being spoken from anywhere in the world, and the parents assure the children that The Grither is well on its way to their house to kill them. The children become progressively more frightened as the story continues, eventually to the point of utter hysteria. Finally, in an effort to calm their children, the parents reveal that the story is make believe. At that moment, the huge arms of The Grither smash through the windows of the house and break the necks of the parents as the children look on in horror.

Valeria is a saint - literally - and finds it more then she can bear. She seeks out a way to fall from Grace but is unable to do so no matter how hard she tries.

Ruby Cuzzins, a New Orleans baker, sells "magic" cookies and gives unscrupulous Henry adman a sample of her wares. Convinced, Henry tries to get her to go into business with him but gets his comeuppance when she refuses.

A kibbitzing mother, Pearl, warns her unlistening family but her warnings start to come true.

A rich art collector buys a stolen painting from a thief. The painting portrays a man before the Spanish Inquisition. The collector, Harte, is soon visited by a mysterious man who begs him to repent of his sins and give up the wrongfully-gained picture. Harte ignores the warnings and finds himself sucked into the painting where he is to be tortured as a sinner and heretic. He recants to the Inquisitor, who lets him go. Once out of the painting, Harte refuses to give it up, and receives a personal visit from the Inquisitor in the real world. The thief returns to take the picture, and Harte is nowhere to be found...in this world.

Audrey Webster is concerned about her reclusive mother, but when she pursues the matter discovers exactly why her mother stays away from others, and what awaits Audrey on her own upcoming wedding night.

A little girl, Audrey, discovers she can control her family by manipulating her doll family, the Geezenstacks, within her dollhouse.

The ghost of a feminist torments the woman who buys her home.

A boy treated poorly by his parents gets the upper hand when an eccentric uncle shows up and tries to convince the parents to finance him to develop his newest invention - a pill that increases brain power and memory. He has a stroke and dies but not before the boy swallows the one and only prototype, and soon puts his parents into the same position he was before.

A young girl develops a talent for seeing the fate of those about to die and develops the habit of saying "Goodbye" to them when she does, and her family grows increasingly upset as a result.

A skeptical journalist travels on assignment to a sideshow. Seated in a small theatre, he is greeted by a perverse caretaker/M.C. who promises (in seemingly generic fashion) to unearth strange, horrible, and presumably fake creatures. The journalist nevertheless feels disgusted when he sees a demonic vampire devour an actual lamb. He chastizes the caretaker for endorsing such horrific "entertainment". However, when fully realizing that these are actual CREATURES, the startled journalist attempts to flee the circus and unknowingly retreats into the arms of the vampire. The caretaker subsequently transforms him into a new exhibit, currently on display for the faithful flock of sideshow attendants who DELIGHT in being frightened.

A wrestler seeking one great opponent finds himself tricked into fighting a demon from Hell.

A mother tries to get a reprieve from her noisy drums-practicing son by making a deal with an ammonia-seeking alien. Spoofs the I Love Lucy television series.

A babysitter is called in to take care of a sick boy. As a game, the two make up a pretend creature out of household parts, one that eats sounds. The creature comes to life, sucking the sound and the life out of everything in the house. The two try to evade it, but the boy's uncontrollable coughing gives him away. The creature then becomes sensitive enough to the girl's heartbeat to find and kill her too, then goes out into the world for more "food"".

An alien is sent to Earth to study the nature and behavior of human beings. The alien, who resembles a normal Earth female, meticulously studies photographs of still life from large cities, simultaneously fascinated with and disgusted by the disarray and degeneration depicted in the pictures. The alien joins a therapeutic support group in an effort to better understand the seemingly contradictory humans. As she develops personal relationships with each group member, she begins to further understand the origin of and reasons for the behavior of humans, albeit from an outside observer's vantage point. The other members of the group see the alien as distant and detached, a condition that they assume is rooted in a self-denial complex. As the alien speaks at one of the group meetings, she suddenly realizes that she has been experiencing the exact same feelings as the humans that she has been studying. She has become human-like through assimilation, trapped within the emotional shell of ano

Janice, a young mother, swears to a social worker, Trudy, that her husband Robert kidnapped their son Bobby six months ago and she hasn't seen either of them since. Trudy agrees to find the father and son, but discovers that everything isn't what she was led to believe.

An aged inventor and his wife come into possession of a box marked "Do not open this box." The wife opens it and finds it empty. The next day a man comes to claim the box and the lady makes up a story about losing the box. The man begins giving them nice things in exchange for eventually getting the box back. The couple begin living the sweet life thanks to the stranger but when they finally give the box back, the man tells them that it contained a human soul - since the box was opened the soul has escaped and now the man needs a replacement.

On her deathbed, Jamie's great grandmother tells him the tale of a Celtic demon, the Cutty Black Sow, that comes to claim the soul of anyone dying that night, and Jamie vows to protect her soul from the beast.

Jane is hired by a Puritan museum but ends up mysteriously going back in time where she is forced to work as a near slave in the past.

Screenwriter Tom Dash unwittingly makes a deal with the Devil and finds he must get out of it by finding a new victim or offer up his soul.

Betsy, an overweight woman, receives an anonymous package with an earpiece that will supposedly help her diet. It transmits the "voices" of her food as is being eaten, but Betsy still has problems and the next gift is a pair of glasses that let her "see" her food as well...

Michael, a heartless collection agent, finds out that Jeanette doesn't quite understand the rules of going into debt, and has some unpleasant problems as a result.

Katie receives a mysterious phone call from a woman warning about her husband's death...but he isn't dead yet. Katie ignores the phone call, and her husband dies. At the funeral, a despairing Katie calls up herself...and finds herself talking to...herself. She tries to warn her past self, despite knowing that it won't do any good, then collapses in despair.

Much to his parents' frustration, a spoiled young boy, Seymour, is declared the High Lama by a group of monks.

A normal, everyday, plain-as-day man, Jack Polo, lives a normal, everyday life...despite the fact that strange poltergeist-like events occur around him. He seems oblivious to everything bad around him. We soon realize that a small demon, a Yattering, has been sent to torment him because his mother was a witch. The Yattering's boss tells him he can do anything he wants as long as he doesn't touch Jack. Jack's daughter comes to visit, and she is surprised at both the host of strange occurrences (including an animated Christmas turkey) that occur, and her father's increasingly strident attempts to deny anything amiss. His motto: ""Que Sara Sara"". Finally, driven out of its mind with desperation, the Yattering touches Jack...which makes him his willing servant. Jack knew of the demon's plans all along, and that he hoped to trick it into touching him. Now he is safe from Hell's revenge, and has a new servant in the process.

In this comedic episode, two treasure hunters discover a lost Egyptian tomb and accidentally revive a mummy. The mummy, Tapok, doesn't try to strangle them, but rather challenges the male explorer to a game of strip poker. The explorer loses, and with each piece of clothing he loses he takes on more of Tapok's wrappings until finally Tapok transfers his curse and leaves with the other explorer.

A mobster who has finally defeated his old rival hires a reluctant puppeteer to string up his rival and make it dance for him. The mobster is unaware that puppet and puppeteer both have agendas of their own...

Sybil, a woman on the verge of death, is obsessed with the thought that after she dies her soul will dwell within a moth, and she begs her mother to hold the moth until she can be restored to life.

Despite the discouragement of his friend, a middle-aged photographer, Algernon, tries to captures spirits on film.

A woman who lives with mannequins because she is unable to deal with real people gets a rude awakening.

An Egyptologist working on a sarcophogus ignores a curse and meets a horrific fate when he ignores it.