Abolish Everything!

In this double-length season finale, eight of our most triumphant abolitionists return to abolish one last thing—and be crowned this season’s Abolish Everyking (Gender Neutral). Augusta Chapman, Vannessa Jackson, Amy Muller, Ikechukwu Ufomadu, Henry Block, Annie Rauwerda, Charu Sinha, and Maeve Dunigan abolish being too cool, the young adult section in bookshops, just taking a little piece of cake, the moon, songs with instructions, acronyms and initialisms, cars, and winging it. Rebutting one last time this season as part of The Political Establishment are Jamie Linn Watson, Josh Nasser, Brielle DeMirjian, and Andy Vega.

Michael Kandel, Carson Olshansky, Graham Techler, and Charu Sinha abolish sports betting, guys who aren’t looking for anything serious kissing Carson on the forehead, telling Graham he can’t have extremely inexpensive back-to-school supplies from Staples, and corporeal forms. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Rachel Coster, Brielle DeMirjian, Kylie Brakeman, and Andy Vega.

Kenice Mobley, Foreign Man in a Foreign Land, Henry Block, and Ryan Ciecwisz abolish twins having strokes, reaction creators, Meryl Streep and Uber drivers slamming Ryan’s penis in car doors because he won’t stop playing harmonica. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Glo Tavarez, Josh Sharp, Kylie Brakeman, and Andy Vega.

Sila Puhl, Dorian Debose, Matt Krol, and Maeve Dunigan abolish hot medical professionals, sunscreen, lecterns, and mascots that are people. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Jamie Linn Watson, Alex Song-Xia, Brielle DeMirjian, and Andy Vega.

Lukas Arnold, Maggie Mae Fish, Vannessa Jackson, and Jonathan van Halem abolish the English language, slow walkers, TikTok couples, being asked to turn off the big light. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Glo Tavarez, Alex Song-Xia, Josh Nasser, and Andy Vega.

Josh Gondelman, Ena Da, Jeremy Kaplowitz, and Augusta Chapman abolish confidence, planes, Liquid Death, and “Getting Involved in Some Hoopla.” Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Jamie Linn Watson, Charlie Bardey, Nicole Conlan, and Andy Vega.

Amy Muller, Randall Otis, Michelle Chan Bennett, and Dan Toomey abolish singing the national anthem at sporting events, Cybertrucks, the name Jazz, and porn…that’s bad for you. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Rachel Coster, Ibhan Kulkarni, Josh Nasser, and Andy Vega.

Annie Rauwerda, Kyle Gordon, Rima Parikh, and Adam Chase aim to remove certain annoying sounds, flexibility, a lack of birthday greetings, and a doctor with a drill from our daily lives. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Josh Nasser, Jamie Linn Watson, Brielle DeMirjian, and Andy Vega.

Alise Morales, Liz Hynes, Ben Doyle, and Ike Ufomadu set forth to abolish the more intolerable aspects of phones, door-holding, animals, and greetings. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Rachel Coster, Ben Marshall, Meredith Dietz, and Andy Vega.

It all comes down to this! In this double-length season finale, seven of season two’s most triumphant abolitionists return to abolish one last thing and chase the coveted Abolish World Champion title… and one more cartoonish sack of cash with a dollar sign on it. Abolitionists Alex Krokus, Macy Gilliam, Martin Urbano, Jason Siegel, Chine Ikoro, Ben Doyle, and Martin Herlihy tackle whistling in public, there not being a season pass to the Javits Center, the deal with airport food, fortune cookie fortunes that aren’t fortunes, unexpectedly bringing your boyfriend to the hang, Corvexa Biotech Holdings Ltd., and hangovers (and Jeffrey Epstein’s Associates) (but mostly hangovers). Rebutting one last time this season as part of The Political Establishment are Jamie Linn Watson, Josh Nasser, Brielle DeMirjian, and Andy Vega.

Phil Jamesson, Cara Michelle Smith, Macy Gilliam, and Milly Tamarez abolish writing down ideas in your notes app in the middle of the night, going to the beach at night, texting Macy just “hi,” and iPhones.

Sam Corbin, Yedoye Travis, Patrick Willems, and Chine Ikoro abolish email signoffs, the law, those rabbits that are so big they’re like the size of dogs, and white men calling Chine a “Black Queen.” Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Josh Nasser, Meredith Deitz, Lily Du, and Andy Vega.

Martin Urbano, Brian McManus, Chloe Radcliffe, and Demi Adejuyigbe abolish AMC pre-movie ads, Catholic shame, inviting straight girls to gay bars, and podcasting. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Zach Schiffman, Brielle DeMirjian, Ceara O’Sullivan, and Andy Vega.

The votes are in! Fan-favorite season one competitors Alise Morales, Matthew Krol, Adam Chase, and Ben Doyle return for one more shot at victory. Topics include the Doomsday Clock, the very concept of redemption, children doing plays, and idiopathic pulmonary arterial hypertension. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Rachel Coster, Josh Nasser, Brielle DeMirjian, and Andy Vega.

Sofía Manfredi, Tej Khanna, Jason Siegel, and Rose Kelso abolish going to Antarctica, interracial breakups, sharing a name with a famous person, and weed. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Glo Tavarez, Jamie Linn Watson, Brielle DeMirjian, and Andy Vega.

Emily Wilson, Jacklyn Uweh, Ashton Womack, and Martin Herlihy abolish being proud of reading girl books, movie trailers, white history, and mosquitoes and flies and also the way people react when you say you haven’t seen The Shawshank Redemption. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Rachel Coster, Josh Nasser, Nicole Conlan, and Andy Vega.

Sean McGowan, Alex Krokus, Sarah Smallwood Parsons, and Sabrina Wu abolish the number five, cover letters, the cryptozoology community, and gay guys taking pictures of other people. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Rachel Coster, Dan Toomey, Gianmarco Soresi, and Andy Vega.

Alison Leiby, Michael Cruz Kayne, Johnathan Appel, and Jo Sunday abolish chiropractors, saying ceviche is cooked in the lime juice, evolution, and leaving when we’re done hanging out. Rebutting them this week as part of The Political Establishment are Jamie Linn Watson, Ben Doyle, Lily Du, and Andy Vega.